Category: self-help blogs

The Economy of Integrity

Credit: Bonnie Kittle

We live in uncertain times but one thing we can all count on is our own ability to frame the social interactions we have. This is both in our personal lives and in business connections when we interact with other business owners or potential partners for joint ventures and more.

It's one of those nuances of human behavior often ignored - are you being the best version of yourself?

This is where professional development meets personal development. Why is it so hard to take a step back outside the echo chamber of previously held beliefs?

Some of it is habit. Habit in how we think of ourselves, the world, other people and our potential. For many, their careers don't take off until they figure their shit out, as a person. Yet - you won't see this taught in MBA programs at major universities.

It's Not What You Do It's How

There are tons of awful people that donate to charities yet abuse their spouses, do unhealthy amounts of drugs and never take a long hard look at who they are actually becoming aside from profit margins met.

Have you ever tried to save a friend from themselves? Passionately advocating on how to dodge the bullet you see headed towards them from their current actions and life path?

What usually happens?

A shit ton of defensiveness and resentment.

Leonard Cohen once sang,

"And I lift my glass to the awful truth
Which you can't reveal to the ears of youth..."

Cohen sings of the eternal resistance of being told what we know is true - that perhaps we aren't trying hard enough. Perhaps we owe it to ourselves to be a bit more honest on if actions taken are doing justice to the version of ourselves we become when energy follows thoughts.

The act of becoming is talked about in many esoteric texts and yet very divorced from the business world, as far as an inherent quality we associate with success.

The art of becoming is the acknowledgement we aren't perfect but also aren't helpless about who we become during the process of living our lives.

I've been blessed to meet, rather recently, a number of influential multi millionaires at the top of their game for their industry. And in this circle something is different than others I've met in previous years who were also successful in business.

These people, many of whom know each other, have spent time understanding who they are and reflect honor and integrity into how they do business and affect the world.

Back to the friend you're trying to save analogy (happened several times for folks I know). It isn't what you're saying. The content is gold - your intentions are pure, you don't have anything to gain here. It is all for the sake of your friend who is fucking up that you want to save.

It isn't what you say, it's how you say it. If anyone feels lectured to, instant walls go up. Higher than the BS ones the prez wants to build between USA and Mexico. Just add water or err um..strongly worded advice.

People feel the energy coming from you behind your words. This has parallels in the start up world as well.

LTV Isn't Accidental

Of the highly successful 7 figure business leaders I've had the luck to meet, connect with, and in some cases become friends with - the feeling of 'this person genuinely cares for others' and reflects that in how they do business is a great predictor of not just success but longevity.

You may have heard of LTV, the life time value of a customer who makes multiple purchases with your business. A customer's LTV exponentially increases if they trust your business. This is the economy of integrity.

When customers feel a bond because of the tribe you've created based on integrity, the rituals specific to your business, and the values you stand for (and what you won't accept: read I'm Not For Everyone) this not only increases long term profits but you become an excuse for others to rise up and act better.

Do we need to wait for Christmas to be generous, forgiving and proactively giving?

Of course not. It's an attitude. An attitude of gratitude. Ok I did see that on the wall at a meeting I was at back in the day. But despite it's rather pithy phrasing, it speaks to deeper concepts.

It's the idea that every Sci Fi author understands - sometimes we are world-creating. We create a micro world of who buys our product or service and determine what kind of environment and culture we create.

Make use of the free will and choice we do have to lead a company based on values of integrity. It gives back so much more than it takes. Your influence continues to grow positively and affect the lives of others in a way that inspires them to do the right thing.

Don't Take My Word for It

Don't take my word for it - plenty of studies from multiple sources back up, empirically, the values delivered by being a decent person, and how that decency affects organizational structures beneficially.

From the National Academy of Sciences:

"Leadership by individuals of high personal integrity helps to foster an environment in which scientists can openly discuss responsible research practices in the face of conflicting pressures. All those involved in the research enterprise should acknowledge that integrity is a key dimension of the essence of being a scientist and not a set of externally imposed regulatory constraints.

To the Journal on Public Integrity and Ethical Leadership:

“ 'Moral values and norms' are often absent when scholars are involved in describing, explaining, and understanding the reality of governance and administration (the dominant focus is on goals and interests; biases and irrationality; institutions; and context and power). An “ethics and integrity turn” in the dominant fields of study is needed."

The Economist referenced a study ran by Tim Hird of Robert Half Management Resources who aptly said:

“Companies with strong, ethical management teams enhance their ability to attract investors, customers and talented professionals,” explains Hird, adding that ethical behavior starts at the top and allows companies to create a culture that values integrity."

Going back to the friend analogy - the reason I bring this up is that this fits your engagement with your customer base as well. If you really want to help your friend out and avoid a slow motion accident you see coming, listen first. Focus less on the righteousness of the point you're making. More on what his or her needs actually are.

Same goes for the impact your business has on the world through the interactions your clients have with each other, with your business and others they come into contact with after purchasing.

When the person you are is reflected in the values of your company, this ripple effect increases CTV by just making people feel more comfortable because they know, see and feel your integrity.

You may just inspire them to also live their lives with higher integrity - helping your business thrive through word of mouth, increase customer retention and long term profits but also help the world become a better place.

"The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office."

-President Dwight D. Eisenhower

I'd like to hear your comments on your experiences as a customer and business with integrity.

. . .

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How Entrepreneurs Go From Good to Great

Credit:NeONBRAND

As an entrepreneur you are a risk taker by virtue of your chosen profession: to be a leader instead of a follower takes courage. But how good do you have to be to succeed? How is success defined in your professional and personal life?

My last blog, COVID Economic Recovery Solutions, discussed the benefits of investing in employees, and seeing the return of professional development in productivity, profits, and increased word of mouth marketing.

In the same way you may invest in your staff, you can also invest in your company's other assets.

Don't Settle for Good Enough Go for Great

We walk a fine line between "just good enough" and "great." To the average suburbanite, just being able to pay bills without a boss breathing down your neck is a huge success.

But the line between good and great, while being thin, is what separates the quitters from the Elon Musks and Steve Jobs of the world. Entrepreneurs benefit from a daily check in and brainstorm sesh on how to make what's good even greater.

You will feel the difference, those few extra hours here and there add up to the bling, the shine, the razzle dazzle of a clean mean business machine. Your customers will feel the difference too when you put in the energy to fine tune and improve what's "just good enough" into something truly excellent.

Drive & Dedication

It feels good to solve a problem - this is at the heart of 99% of all marketing messages. When you've gone through the rigmarole of questioning how to fix something until that eureka moment - it's satisfying to arrive.

But don't rest on your laurels. The allure of complacency is strong and keeps you at mediocre instead of embracing your brilliance. You have to cultivate the inner engine to improve. It has to be an attitude. A mantra.

Once you create the habit of improving, you can't help but get better. This is across the board, personal, romantic, business, family, social life, hobbies, sports - attitude is gratitude.

What I mean is, you'll thank yourself for creating the habit of dedication to improvement. It's a new routine that once developed will help you reach the next level of your potential.

Self Sustaining Networks & Teamwork

There are plenty of entrepreneurs who can wear 10 hats and play multiple instruments. But to be truly successful as an entrepreneur, this means building a strong network. Creating a team that fills the gaps in your own competence is part of what crosses from 'just good enough' to something great.

I chose to use the word sustainable with a specific intention: The personal and professional networks built must be mutual, reciprocal and headed towards a destination that is beneficial.

If only one business is benefiting, see where you can help the other business benefit even more. This goodwill will not go unnoticed. It's all about who you know right? You may catch the eye of an affiliated interest that yields even greater return.

At the very least, you've increased loyalty to your brand and secured a better professional network.

The Self Efficacy Question

Self-efficacy is, in a nutshell, increasing your abilities by believing that you can increase your abilities. And of course taking action to increase them.

It's shown remarkable results in test scores in children in Kansas City, Missouri, and strengthening people's beliefs that they have what it takes to succeed produced even better results in college students at University of Wisconsin Milwaukee.

Student underachievement brought about by low academic motivation is a major factor contributing to school dropout levels according to the Department of Teacher Education and Higher Education at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

Beyond Social Cognitive Theory in an academic setting, self-efficacy has huge potential to help businesses improve. 7 League Boot leaping over obstacles with emotional resilience is achieved by believing that you can overcome these obstacles.

The consistency and commitment to keep on trucking, and examine your methods for achieving success along the way is the key to making that success a reality.

Live, Breath, Sleep the Mindset of a Champion

Whether you're fighting cancer, winning an olympic gold metal, or mastering the art of public speaking - the mindset that you have frames your ability to perform at low or at peak levels.

To even consider quitting a day job requires a whole shift of mindset. But let's take that one step further.

When you believe your company will succeed, in addition to making the efforts to ensure it will, the mindset of a champion means that that needed grit to not only survive but to thrive is present.

Having the mindset of a champion doesn't mean you ignore the less-than-great realities of a situation or sugar coat the gaps in your business.

It means you don't hesitate to face these head on, and do what it takes to succeed. With of course, no moral ambiguity. Doing the right thing, for your business, only improves who you are and the quality of customers you attract.

I've mentioned this before, but one of the defining moments of my life was when my childhood mentor drove me to a homeless shelter when I was kicked out of my mother's house.

He let me know that while he doesn't support this happening, I also needed a wake up call and realize that even if I didn't like my step father, I had to do what it takes to survive with a roof over my head.

Hows that for a gut check?

I didn't have the mindset of a champion then. But 3 days ago I graduated the University of Texas at Austin, having gained acceptance into UT with a recommendation letter from the president of Austin Community College.

It was a hard struggle but once my mindset changed from victimhood to proactive reluctant hero - life aligned to produce the results I wanted.

The same is true for entrepreneurship.

What separates us from the 9-5ers is our ability to innovate, think outside the box, create solutions, and have an unshakable belief in ourselves, our brand and the goals we set out to achieve.

This is the mindset of a champion.

. . .
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Exciting New Era of the 20s

As the new year approaches, we make our resolutions for the next 365 days, and reflect on the past year. But, it's a special time; we are concluding a decade.

Seems crazy right?

I don't know about you but for me this feels like the first official decade of the 2000s. 2000-2010 still seemed like just the year 2000 extended. The teens, (which is what I consider 2010 - 2019), gave the feeling of still being the year 2000 extended - era wise.

Is it just me?

Did you feel a sense of "we are living in the new 70s, 60s, 80s, 90s" ?

I didn't. But now, after society has adapted to all the new innovations in technology it feels like the start of a new era.

With the ever present smartphone, how that shapes art, music, the club scene, schools' Edtech ventures, the accessibility of media, the rise of Netflix as an ever present background for home entertainment, the normalizing of online dating apps, the prevalence of rideshare companies like Uber and Lyft now becoming a household term

- it feels like we've balanced out to a distinct way of life that has its own culture.

The last era I remember having its own sense of zeitgeist was the 90s. But with the 20s - this is the new decade complete with new ways of living.

A New Era

The past 20 years seemed like an experiment but now, there is kind of a balance. We've adapted with new mores, and a way of talking about things that is unique to post 90s. Socially though - I would say we still have a ways to go. New habits have created new problems in the new era.

Younger people - from babies given iPads to stare at for hours, to 9-18 year olds are all heavily co-dependent on technology to communicate, socialize and feel connected. The ability to focus on one thing will full attention is on a sharp decline.

Even sitting still isn't as common. Critical thinking, using our brains for more than googling has been suffering. Online behavior has given many an excuse to be mean, hiding behind the screen.

Social media is used to validate the youth's sense of SELF-ACCEPTANCE- which is a real problem given the trolling, fake profiles, and artificial community social media giants like Facebook have created.

At the same time, incredible community efforts to assist those in need for wild fires in Cali, to floods in Houston, Texas have been assisted by social media. People have literally been rescued from rooftops because of posts they made online - that is a win and it's a...err...haha rather 'new' as a way for helping folks.

On the flip side, among the youth, there is a huge issue of substituting attitude for integrity - I have a phone, I can call a rideshare, I can talk back and organize my escape from any discipline for crossing boundaries by coordinating with friends and questionable characters on my smartphone.

"I do what I WANT mom and dad!"

"I will public shame you online if you don't let me just live my life!"

Sense of Purpose

Rampant drug use amongst the Asian communities, small town white suburbanite communities, in addition to the generally accepted state of ghettos and impoverished grottos - is on the rise.

Young people are also doing a lot of drugs - not just marijuana but bath salt, barbiturates, molly, X, etc. The irony here is, often the spike in drug addiction is amongst successful college graduates with profitable careers in industries like software engineering.

Part of it is ease of access in our ever increasingly connected world, but much of it is due to the same issues the youth face with technology addiction - a lack of purpose. A missing place inside for a sense of why we are here.

Some fill this hole with staying busy all the time working, or with drinking going out to bars almost every night of the week. Others turn to tech, and obsess over the newest gadgets, turning hostile if the social behavior this creates is ever put into question.

Tech has become the new religion - if you question validity, or suggest a balance in turning the black mirror screens off, many act like you insulted their god - just as defensive and scared.

Others use religion to fill the missing pieces inside with a consistent whole, to define life purpose with. This can be benevolent and based in compassion - actions speak louder than words - other times it's predatory.

It's a way of not accepting people who don't think, feel, and believe the same way, thus creating a false moral superiority.

Jesus in the gospels said a bunch of helpful things, that regardless of religion, if practiced, would make us all better people. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, be forgiving, understanding of those different from you.

It is simply a tool, and how it is used depends on the user.

Dozens of Ways to Look @ the Same Thing

Philosophy, humanism, and rational thinking have addressed questions of purpose and meaning for centuries. Whether there is one cohesive solution found or not the underlining theme is to be open.

Be less rigid, more curious and to be adventurous in exploring our own perspectives.

To be brave enough to find out what is beneath the surface of roles we play and attitudes we hold. To balance one's self by not getting too attached to one way of thinking. To cross reference sources, til you feel something that feels right. It's an intuitive, instinctive moment.

Reading philosophy for 20 years now, I've questioned my own beliefs many times - not motivated by self-doubt but simply asking,

"Is there a better way to do this...living, being, adulting thing?"

This led to revelations, understanding the world, who I am, and added a sense of direction to where I am going. By asking, "What's really possible for identity if I get better?" and evaluating different view points - I found my center.

Many live and die never exploring who they are. Because it's a paradox - on one hand accept who you are, on the other also ask, "What can I do to improve?"

Body, heart, spirit, mind, life.

All of it.

Realizing..when looking out, how few have gone this deep, compassionately questioning their beliefs, wanting to give back

- I see there's a gap in many childhoods.

With this increased access to resources, through the internet, smartphones, laptops, video conferencing, texting, social media apps displaying entire lives - the real sense of meaning for living is often lost if kids don't have an underlining sense of right and wrong.

So they turn to drugs, even after becoming successful, making money, but having no real inner sense of direction.

At The Very Least...

The hands off approach of let kids raise themselves (which Will Smith has, as a scientologist, for his kids - and the results speak for themselves) doesn't really work because how easy it is to influence children through social media, blogs, rando websites and such.

At the same time, indoctrinating a child into a religion from an early age steals the freedom of choice - they should be allowed to decide once they are of sound body and mind what they believe in.

Yet - at the very least kids should be taught the value of compassion, the value of active listening and validating other people's view points, to lend a helping hand when possible, not be self absorbed but appreciate what we have and look for opportunities to improve one's self.

I feel...at a bare minimum, these traits will at least create a blueprint for self discovery less self-destructive than many students I observed when substitute teaching.

Reflecting on the 20s

I, haha, will not attempt to solve this entire issue in one blog post.

But, something really strikes me when a friend of mine last night was telling me about her friends with successful careers but drug addiction problems.

As I sip coffee I got for Christmas and watch the sunrise this morning I am thankful for my sense of purpose.

Reflecting on entering the new 20s, the 'roaring 20s' of the previous century, I wonder what this new decade has in store for us.

Will we finally get hoverboards? Teleportation?

Will values re-enter social dialogue as a worthwhile focus for the youth? How will we continue to evolve as a species?

We have neat benefits of information being shared like plastic eating bacteria to clean the oceans, solar and wind renewable energy becoming more easily available and cheaper each year.

Yes, there are still challenges, but I remain hopeful as humans still have the ability to amaze.

Happy New Years!

Fitness FTW

Sunday August 12th 2018 Press play to hear the music that goes with this blog

Jesse Cook : Tempest

Maybe it was almost dying in New Orleans that finally pushed me to seriously commit to living healthier, eating more nutritiously an adopting a rigorous swimming regime. Perhaps it was all those years of body-shaming I endured, both from my friends who’d make fun of me in good spirited jokes, or from my inner monologue staring in the mirror and really being unhappy with what I looked like

Certainly throwing up blood violently, passing out, waking up, and throwing up more was a gut check on how I lived my life. The unexpectedness of almost dying from blood loss on my summer vacation slapped me in the face. RUDE. I felt like the world was spinning out of my control. Standing up in the AirBnb and having waves of pressure hit my head on the left side, now the ride side, and the blackness creeping up on the edge of my vision affected me more than I care to admit.

I’ve come close to death many times in my life. Car accidents, comas, allergic reactions, guns being pulled on me at 16 years old and being threatened by homeless people with knives. Somehow, I was able to cruise through it, in some sort of functional shock that pushed the emotions of what I had to deal with far below the surface. This time it was different.

I have more to lose now & bigger dreams than simply surviving until tomorrow morning. Authoring my first book, writing the second book, teaching myself Spanish to prepare for going to UT this month, working at Facebook and absolutely loving my job, I’m on the cusp of greatness I feel, now more than ever. I have so many creative inventive ideas for business that haven’t been put into play yet.

Entrepreneur Blues

It’s like, I feel like I’ve made my forays into the mindset of an entrepreneur but I am still filling out the application. I don’t feel like a true entrepreneur yet until I have a steady income each month from my projects. But getting into better physical shape, and enjoying what I look like when I look in the mirror are part of my vision of myself as an entrepreneur. So when I almost kicked the bucket in June this year and spent 3 days tied to a hospital bed with IV tubes, something inside of me snapped. In a good way.

Enough bullshitting Trevor, you can and will do better than this. On all fronts. Be a better son, be better to my son, be a better coworker, be a better friend and take better care of my body. Be better at this life mastery type ish. Taking the time to work more authentically on my goals, my business and journey into entrepreneurship is intrinsic to the person I’ve decided to become. Fitness is something I have put off for far too long.

Diet Progress Fitness Goals

4 Weeks and 4 days ago I began a 6 Week Eat To Live challenge: I’ve given up dairy, all bread except for once or twice a week pita and hummus, all oils, and eat only fruits and vegetables. Part of it is I can’t really afford to see an internal medicine doctor the docs in New Orleans wanted me to see in Austin so I figure just eat as healthy as possible and the rest will fix itself. So far so good.

After the 3rd week of eating only fruits for breakfast and greens for lunch and dinner I began to feel ravenously hungry for the first time. Really hungry. It’s a wonder that I made it 3 weeks before missing full meals with bread, cheese and um…Creamy Creations Mint Chocolate Chip! But I made it. I didn’t cheat. I just added heavier things to my diet like portobello mushrooms, seasoned with lemon-pepper and basil, sautéed to perfection in an iron skillet. Near the end of the 3rd week I developed a craving for Green Tea. I’ve never been a huge fan of Green Tea, but I bought some and drink it on the reg now.

I work out 5 to 6 days a week, cardio, weights, and calisthenics. I meditate almost everyday. I go swimming twice a week. For 45 minutes I do front crawl laps and then 4 laps using a kick board. I feel better. I am better. Inside and out. I’ve lost 14 pounds, and am on track to becoming the fittest version of myself yet. I’m still overweight right now with a belly:

I want to be as cut as Mark Walhberg is (we have similar body types), and sport a six pack of well defined rectus abdominis, Transversus abdominis (TVA), and serratus muscles.

When will this happen? Realistically? Given my progress so far, around 3 months or less. I’ve seen more definition in my biceps from both weight lifting and swimming laps, I feel a square beneath my belly forming but my body fat percentages are way too high to show any muscles yet. But that day is coming, sooner than you think.

Eating salads everyday has an ancillary benefit to losing weight and getting in better shape: you are mofreaking healthy. I enjoy feeling good inside and out. I have more energy to do the things I love and am aligning with my goals more intuitively than ever before.

Yes, I still have a belly, but not for long. Them washboard abs are on their way, express delivery. And the lifestyle to go with it, sailing on yachts, becoming a book author, driving my Mini Cooper. I have lots to work on. But I’m motivated by the consistency of the dedication I seem capable of now, and see bright things in the future. Until next time SpaceCowboy…