Category: social constructs

The Economy of Integrity

Credit: Bonnie Kittle


We live in uncertain times but one thing we can all count on is our own ability to frame the social interactions we have. This is both in our personal lives and in business connections when we interact with other business owners or potential partners for joint ventures and more.

It's one of those nuances of human behavior often ignored - are you being the best version of yourself?

This is where professional development meets personal development. Why is it so hard to take a step back outside the echo chamber of previously held beliefs?

Some of it is habit. Habit in how we think of ourselves, the world, other people and our potential. For many, their careers don't take off until they figure their shit out, as a person. Yet - you won't see this taught in MBA programs at major universities.

It's Not What You Do It's How

There are tons of awful people that donate to charities yet abuse their spouses, do unhealthy amounts of drugs and never take a long hard look at who they are actually becoming aside from profit margins met.

Have you ever tried to save a friend from themselves? Passionately advocating on how to dodge the bullet you see headed towards them from their current actions and life path?

What usually happens?

A shit ton of defensiveness and resentment.

Leonard Cohen once sang,

"And I lift my glass to the awful truth
 Which you can't reveal to the ears of youth..."

Cohen sings of the eternal resistance of being told what we know is true - that perhaps we aren't trying hard enough. Perhaps we owe it to ourselves to be a bit more honest on if actions taken are doing justice to the version of ourselves we become when energy follows thoughts.

The act of becoming is talked about in many esoteric texts and yet very divorced from the business world, as far as an inherent quality we associate with success.

The art of becoming is the acknowledgement we aren't perfect but also aren't helpless about who we become during the process of living our lives.

I've been blessed to meet, rather recently, a number of influential multi millionaires at the top of their game for their industry. And in this circle something is different than others I've met in previous years who were also successful in business.

These people, many of whom know each other, have spent time understanding who they are and reflect honor and integrity into how they do business and affect the world.

Back to the friend you're trying to save analogy (happened several times for folks I know). It isn't what you're saying. The content is gold - your intentions are pure, you don't have anything to gain here. It is all for the sake of your friend who is fucking up that you want to save.

It isn't what you say, it's how you say it. If anyone feels lectured to, instant walls go up. Higher than the BS ones the prez wants to build between USA and Mexico. Just add water or err um..strongly worded advice.

People feel the energy coming from you behind your words. This has parallels in the start up world as well.

LTV Isn't Accidental

Of the highly successful 7 figure business leaders I've had the luck to meet, connect with, and in some cases become friends with - the feeling of 'this person genuinely cares for others' and reflects that in how they do business is a great predictor of not just success but longevity.

You may have heard of LTV, the life time value of a customer who makes multiple purchases with your business. A customer's LTV exponentially increases if they trust your business. This is the economy of integrity.

When customers feel a bond because of the tribe you've created based on integrity, the rituals specific to your business, and the values you stand for (and what you won't accept: read I'm Not For Everyone) this not only increases long term profits but you become an excuse for others to rise up and act better.

Do we need to wait for Christmas to be generous, forgiving and proactively giving?

Of course not. It's an attitude. An attitude of gratitude. Ok I did see that on the wall at a meeting I was at back in the day. But despite it's rather pithy phrasing, it speaks to deeper concepts.

It's the idea that every Sci Fi author understands - sometimes we are world-creating. We create a micro world of who buys our product or service and determine what kind of environment and culture we create.

Make use of the free will and choice we do have to lead a company based on values of integrity. It gives back so much more than it takes. Your influence continues to grow positively and affect the lives of others in a way that inspires them to do the right thing.

Don't Take My Word for It

Don't take my word for it - plenty of studies from multiple sources back up, empirically, the values delivered by being a decent person, and how that decency affects organizational structures beneficially.

From the National Academy of Sciences:

"Leadership by individuals of high personal integrity helps to foster an environment in which scientists can openly discuss responsible research practices in the face of conflicting pressures. All those involved in the research enterprise should acknowledge that integrity is a key dimension of the essence of being a scientist and not a set of externally imposed regulatory constraints.


To the Journal on Public Integrity and Ethical Leadership: 

 “ 'Moral values and norms' are often absent when scholars are involved in describing, explaining, and understanding the reality of governance and administration (the dominant focus is on goals and interests; biases and irrationality; institutions; and context and power). An “ethics and integrity turn” in the dominant fields of study is needed."

The Economist referenced a study ran by Tim Hird of Robert Half Management Resources who aptly said:

“Companies with strong, ethical management teams enhance their ability to attract investors, customers and talented professionals,” explains Hird, adding that ethical behavior starts at the top and allows companies to create a culture that values integrity."

Going back to the friend analogy - the reason I bring this up is that this fits your engagement with your customer base as well. If you really want to help your friend out and avoid a slow motion accident you see coming, listen first. Focus less on the righteousness of the point you're making. More on what his or her needs actually are.

Same goes for the impact your business has on the world through the interactions your clients have with each other, with your business and others they come into contact with after purchasing.

When the person you are is reflected in the values of your company, this ripple effect increases CTV by just making people feel more comfortable because they know, see and feel your integrity.

You may just inspire them to also live their lives with higher integrity - helping your business thrive through word of mouth, increase customer retention and long term profits but also help the world become a better place.

"The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office."

-President Dwight D. Eisenhower

I'd like to hear your comments on your experiences as a customer and business with integrity.

                                              .  .  .

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If You’re White & Don’t Know How to React to Floyd’s Death…

Credit: Rachel Fergus/RiverTown Multimedia

Disclaimer - while this is normally a business blog (eg last blog on Biz Metrics) in the wake of George Floyd's death I can't stay silent on how we got to this point.

Protests rock the nation as many discover the motivation to stand up and fight for civil liberties and equality for blacks after George Floyd was racially killed by officer Derek Chauvin.

Now white people are scared of being labeled racist and wonder what to do.

There were decades of police brutality against African-Americans before now, but with the advent of smart phones, suddenly the nation is captivated by the tragedy unfolding before them.

Speaking with a Crisis Intervention specialist on the phone, who is black, I learned that he is bombarded with calls from his white friends and clients asking how they should be reacting to Floyd's death.

Questions like this frustrate me. Growing up in an all black and Mexican neighborhood as a child, many social constructs of race and class were de-codified quickly when our common language was mutual poverty.

I saw how my dad was racist and how false his ideas about blacks and Mexicans were.

In middle school, due to federal race quotas at white west side schools my whole neighborhood was bussed out of our hood to a rich white school we weren't comfortable at.

I was the only white kid on the bus. With four people to a seat, being bussed from the east side, before gentrification brought white people to poor neighborhoods I quickly saw how I was perceived to represent oppression, lost job opportunities and systemic racism.

It was a trial by fire. I got into a lot of fights. The first week my glasses got thrown out the window. Crypts and Bloods gang signs were being thrown left and right by these middle schoolers.

I learned early on, real recognize real. I was the son of a construction worker, we were broke as well. After a lot of conflict, I slowly gained acceptance and with this acceptance I saw clearly how we have-nots were perceived by the rest of the world.

I had an advantage, being white, because it was assumed that I was headed places other than drug dealing. But the incredible amount of entire life times planned out in the single look of eyes by someone white in a position of authority shook me.

I saw why even young kids were cynical. If they were a POC, they were expected to fail more than to succeed, and this kind of thinking got into their heads. Sometimes it was a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Many times it was straight up wrong and prejudiced. This came from school administrators, employers, police, bank tellers, homeowner associations, middle to upper class suburbanites and more.

I had good friends who were white, some no longer friends now, who showed me their beliefs about blacks and other nonwhite races through subtle comments I picked up on. The nuances were clear to me now due to my non-trust-fund up bringing.

I couldn't believe this shit was so pervasive. I talked with my friends who were black like,

"Do you actually see this? You deal with this daily?"

"Yup."

And yet, black people continued to give whites revealing their prejudices, passed down from parental figures, free passes. Infinite amounts despite white people's ignorance at how they came off.

Yet...white people get to be defensive, as if they are the victim, if there needs to be a sincere discussion about race, class and social constructs? WTF.

The Myth of White Fragility

I hear many convos about "white fragility" and white people not knowing how to talk about racism. Dictionary.com defines white fragility as:

"The tendency among members of the dominant white cultural group to have a defensive, wounded, angry, or dismissive response to evidence of racism."

It's mind boggling to me to hear these types of conversations because the only people afraid to talk about racism are people who are racist to some extent.

When you are the only white person for more than a 15 mile radius in your neighborhood, growing up, you learn pretty quickly about white people who often unintentionally insult black people with assumed predictions of black people's lack of ambition, success and intelligence.

Systemic Racism Comes From Passed Down Beliefs 

The over policing of black neighborhoods leading to more blacks in prison is a known issue for those growing up beneath the poverty line.

The threat of life or death being in every encounter between the police and black people versus the innate security white people have with the police is a large dissonance in basic comprehension of the issues at stake.

Then there is the over compensating actions of white people who, unable to have honest conversations with themselves about inner ingrained prejudices, want to festish-ize black people.

But I Have Black Friends...

How many conversations have you seen on Facebook where an "all lives matter" white person defensively claims, "But I have black friends!"?

It isn't about 'having' black friends buddy. It's understanding how you marginalize another race's struggle against the unequal treatment they receive in job opportunities, education, and systemic racism in local police, state legislation and even the office of the president (after 2016 especially).

The especially frustrating part of this is almost every person I've seen post about all lives matter or how they, as whites, feel marginalized and not allowed to talk about things is that these people are just whining about themselves.

There is no understanding of a greater issue here other than their personal butt-hurt feelings that perhaps others perceive their prejudices more than they do.

Instead of posting on Facebook, about how you as a white woman, or man, are the 'victim' of censorship, take a good long hard look in the mirror and ask,

"What are my assumptions about black people?"

That's a good place to start. And realize just like Aspergers syndrome you can unlearn bad habits and learn how to improve your self-awareness. Don't defensively try to overcompensate.

The Winners Write the Textbooks

This defensive overcompensating doesn't help anything at all. Making black people into some sort of boyscout badge you collect and pin to your lapels doesn't make you less of a racist. It does the opposite.

One of the reasons why blacks have struggled to gain equal footing in America is because America was the only country to make slavery inherited from mother to child. Even Greek slaves had rights.

That level of labeling blacks as less than human continues post reconstruction era with vagrancy laws that rounded up freed slaves and charged them debts they could only repay by going back to work on the plantation.

These same plantation owner confederate types who never thought black people deserved the same rights as whites taught their sons and daughters for generations their racism.

So in-spite of progress, technology, Emancipation Proclamation (made mainly to keep Europe out of the war) and even the internet we have generations of people growing up with money, entitlements and racism running for public office.

They become legislators with these passed down beliefs that defied basic common sense that ended up manifesting in white-washing history text books and gerrymandering to invalidate minority votes.

When I spoke at the Teacher's Union in Austin Texas about the debate legislators were having to take out all mentions of slavery from Texas textbooks I asked Texas legislators a simple question:

"How is less information about our history, and black history, going to empower students?"

The winners write the textbooks. It's from the top down that the discussion of race and equality has been suppressed as Noam Chomsky famously said:

“Control of thought is more important for governments that are free and popular than for despotic & military states.
The logic is straightforward: a despotic state can control its domestic enemies by force, but as the state loses this weapon, other devices are required to prevent the ignorant masses from interfering with public affairs, which are none of their business…the public are to be observers, not participants, consumers of ideology as well as products.”

From School to Jail Pipeline

The pipeline from school to jail for blacks especially, is just another attempt to re-establish the free labor system of the plantation days as prisoners make products at jails that are sold for profits they don't get a share of.

Part of the pipe line from school to jail is established by teaching only how to pass standardized tests instead of social skills, critical thinking and conflict-resolution training.

More contributors to this are permission parenting, being too afraid to establish consistent boundaries at schools (as well as defunding schools in minority neighborhoods and funding rich white schools with even more money).

When I was a substitute teacher at Austin Independent School District, I saw real life examples of this.I was working on my Bachelor's at UT and substitute teaching on days I didn't have class and saw some horrible things at Fulmore Middle School.

At Fulmore there was a whole grade level of kids who had behavior issues and were previously kicked out of regular ed to the Alternative Learning Center(ALC) for students who couldn't socialize without disrupting class.

These kids were 99% minorities, with very few white kids among them. The ALC said, "We give up," and kicked this same group of kids, who cursed out teachers and started fights back to Fulmore Middle School.

Due to group testing, the teachers just passed them on from grade level to grade level without any real intervention done. Same social problems, same lack of consistent boundaries being enforced, it was clear that jail was in the future for many of these kids.

Stop Assuming the Worst in POC Students

I talked to one of these "problem students" who was causing trouble and avoiding doing his math assignments in class. He was a young black kid about 9 or 10 years old.

I didn't talk down to him or just assume he was deliberately slacking off to make the teacher mad or make it about myself at all like I've seen some teachers do. I simply asked him,

"Do you like math? What obstacles are you facing with it?

He really opened up to me and talked about troubles at home and stated that he was actually good at math but was self conscious of "appearing too smart" around his friends.

We had a conversation about the future and the kind of opportunities available for those gifted in math and science. I shared that having a skill in math can lead to higher paying careers and opportunities.

And not just that. But how to make it real to him, the kind of lifestyle you can benefit from when you aren't broke.

It got through to him and he became very diligent at getting even better at math than when he started the semester.

Just a change of tone, from expecting the worst from kids who faced other problems besides school, and giving a real world context made all the difference.

This student succeeded because he wasn't labeled as any different than his white classmates, or expected to fail because he was black.

Just having a real conversation and being acknowledged isn't an impossible thing to do yet we don't see it happening at the frequency needed to change the world for the better.

Ron Clark has demonstrated without hesitation that being real with students improves their academic performance and commitment to education. Veiled racist assumptions doesn't so let's change this.

Separate Has Never Been Equal

So when there are white people who now want to sooth their fears of being perceived as racist by segregating black people into a box to be checked off to include their social circles, or that having black friends is somehow part of 'a list of accomplishments'

-- that's wack af. And low key prejudiced.

This kind of thinking misses the entire point that it is by segregating black people as less than or needing a special category from whites, you just come off as racist.

White people worried about being labeled racist - do less talking, more listening. Start actually paying attention to the social structures you benefit from that not everyone has access to.

Stop worrying about your public image and have some honest reflection about what your real thoughts and opinions are about black people. Examine where these beliefs come from:

*Experiences?
*Assumptions?
*Things you read in a magazine or heard from a friend?
*Beliefs from comments your parents made?
*Religion or the desire to fit in to your white social groups?

Unless you take the time to f-ing be honest and learn how your perception was formed, you will probably continue to feel overly sensitive talking about race.

Race isn't something to be afraid of talking about unless you're hiding something from yourself.

Stop hiding.

Recognize you may have innate prejudices by just how you were brought up, identify these and see how they conflict with reality to move beyond them

                                              .  .  .

Enjoyed this blog?
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