Category: Uncategorized

Stay Safe & Calm Have Hope

Monday March 23rd 2020 12:14am

In times of uncertainty many turn to faith in god, religion, humanism, the mystic unknown where somewhere something is looking out for mankind against all odds. Our habits and daily rituals become a place we create to seek solace when the world has gone crazy.

When every day feels like we're living in a worst-case scenario movie we cling to our rituals to give us comfort and stability.

Coffee in the morning
the daily jog
checking social media
fixing meals
clipping our nails
showering and dressing ourselves
putting one shoe in front of the other.

Stability is necessary to continue walking, moving, creating something going forward.

I believe much of the time we are so accustomed to putting our happiness in the future that when the future no longer seems to hold the guarantee of better things we start to lose faith in the process.

It becomes harder to hold our heads as high standing in line, waiting to enter the grocery store, and casting accusatory eyes on anyone who coughs in our proximity.

"<Ahem...excuse me...wait...what? Where are you running to?>"

As a native Austinite, music is in my blood and one of the telling signs that COVID19 was a serious issue, not just something to take lightly was the canceling of SXSW. Southby, an Austin music festival, perhaps the biggest music festival in the word, while providing many with memories that last a lifetime has a significant impact on local musicians that isn't always positive.

It's contributed to the gentrification of Austin, Texas as the music festival attracted monied interests with no interest in preserving the culture of the city investors became so enamored with, as historical icons were BULLDOZED for condos & hotels.

As James McMurtry, local legend whose father wrote the book that became a movie, Lonesome Dove, sings: "I'm not from here, I just moved here, from some place far away. People tell me I should've been here before it got ruined by people like me."

A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook sharing his feelings about SXSW.

And... I agree with these sentiments. I listen to a commercial free radio station called Radio Paradise (most excellent).The owner, Bill, will come on every 15 songs or so and say,

"I hope you are staying safe & calm during these troubling times."

The canceling of SXSW was only the first of many new changes we've had to adapt to in Austin, Texas. It was the canary in the coal mine if you will, as businesses sacrificed and the city, millions of dollars in revenue to preserve public safety and stop the spread of the corona virus.

I apologize, for not keeping up, and blogging more frequently.

I've been fighting an illness that's been quite serious (unrelated to COVID19) and combining that with the panic in the media, the streets, the grocery stores I've been overwhelmed, emotionally and mentally.

For 4 days straight I stared at my computer screen, researching, investigating, compiling documents of data on the outbreak, frozen, in paralysis. Unable to move, literally sitting in bed googling, cross referencing, putting all my research skills honed to perfection working as a professor's assistant back in college to good use. But it was making me sick, emotionally.

I had to step back. I was in too deep.

My health wasn't improving this way, and our immune systems do respond positively to elevated moods. I was re-diagnosed and found I was suffering from an illness that was serious, but not as serious or fatal as the first was I was misdiagnosed as having. Sweat broke across my forehead, I felt a heavy weight lifted off my back, and I broke free of the panic coma I was trapped in.

I started making music again, and realized how perilous the balance is between staying informed and being a trauma-junkie. If it bleeds it reads, was a saying I'd heard as a reporter when I worked at a newspaper in another life. I started walking again, outside, 1 mile, 4 miles, gradually building resilience, internally, to the insanity we're facing everywhere we look.

I cannot emphasize enough, how important it is to maintain your mental health, to develop and practice self-care routines, right now, is crucial. (In addition to washing your hands 20 seconds with soap before splashing water - that's what actually washing your hands is - and disinfecting commonly touched surfaces with bleach spray, lysol, pinesol or white vinegar in a spray bottle and social -correction- physical distancing).

Sorry, I'm ranting again, the OCD level I'm on right now is unparalleled but it's survival. And survival isn't a joke. What are we supposed to do if the ones leading the governments of the world are saying they don't know how to handle this? Questions like this keep many of us awake at night.

We keep forgetting that where there's a will there's a way. We keep forgetting that humanity has overcome epidemics before with less technology and more ignorance. We keep forgetting the power of adaptive radiation. Adaptive radiation is, in the words of Wikipedia:

"In evolutionary biology, adaptive radiation is a process in which organisms diversify rapidly from an ancestral species into a multitude of new forms, particularly when a change in the environment makes new resources available, creates new challenges, or opens new environmental niches."

Yeah uh...We are definitely in the 'creates new challenges' part of that. We are learning how to evolve as a species to preserve our ecological niche in planet earth right now. Scientists, biologists, medics, really smart people all over the world are working to find a cure, aworkaround, a treatment. There is a tipping point where group consciousness will coalesce.

It's the reason why younger people seem smarter at younger ages, in addition to improved living conditions, nutrition and technology there is a certain kind of genetic intelligence that develops faster the more people are born into better environments. To quote Radiohead,

"Fitter, happier, more productive Comfortable (not drinking too much)"

A critical mass is approaching, I'm sure of it, for finding a cure. Whether we repurpose drugs used to treat SARS and MERs (as Dr Fauci mentioned as a possible cure recently) or develop an amazing new treatment in another way - this many minds thinking together, globally, creates its own momentum in a way that evolutionary biology predicts, will pivot our species to evolve to survive.

We will survive this. As my ex told me on the phone today, "This is the planet kicking us in the butt telling us to take better care of our bodies, eat healthier and follow a higher path.

So keep your head up. Have hope. There will be some rocky roads and it ain't all ice cream, but we can and will get through this intact.

Have faith. Be safe. Stay calm.

Sleeping Dawgs Don’t Lie

Tuesday April 3rd 2018 Read more blogs here: https://jetskishaman.com/blog/

Press Play if Music Doesn’t Start Automatically – Band: Alt-J Song: MS

Sleeping Dogs Don’t Lie

2 months ago a new neighbor moved in next door to me. At first, I thought he was going to be a good guy. A neighbor I could hear that pressurized pop of opening beer cans with while we shot the breeze and enjoyed our respective domiciles.

How wrong I was.

Little did I know he had a huge doberman pincher who was a trained attack dog. Within a couple of weeks, he brought the dog into his place and it started barking all the time. I endured it because I thought, “Hmm, ok, well it’s a new place. I’m sure his dog just needs a little time to adjust.” Keep in mind there’s no yard, it’s just an indoor townhome. The barking didn’t stop, in fact, it was increasing everyday.

I’m a fairly reasonable guy, so I don’t make an issue of this. But it got to the point where the doberman was smelling me through the walls and barking when I entered my kitchen. Barking when I closed the refrigerator door. Barking when I bumped into my trashcan. Barking when I put a pan on the stove to boil water for coffee. Barking at my mother when she knocked on my door to visit me. Barking at night, 10pm, 11pm, 12am, 1am, 2am, 4am.

I would come home from work, and it would lunge at me charging into my neighbors front door…THUMP…THUMP….THUMP. Remember, I’ve never interacted with this dog, it’s new, I’ve never told it to shut up, or anything. For some reason, perhaps thinking it was protecting it’s territory, the dog targeted me, the next door neighbor with it’s aggression. A big black dog who was above my waist in height.

I’d be walking by my place on my way to do laundry and it would follow me throughout the neighbor’s townhome, running, charging into their glass patio door it could see me through. Barking, growling, slobbering like some demonic Cujo intent on its pound of flesh. I was starting to get a bit concerned. This wasn’t normal behavior.

The breaking point came when I was walking to check my mail, and a friend of my neighbor’s was sitting in a lawnchair outside. She was loosely holding on to a leash this big angry dog was on and not paying attention to it. As I walked past, the huge doberman jumped forward, snapping the leash, with its open jaws slamming shut within inches of my exposed left thigh ( I was wearing shorts). The slobber hit my legs that’s how close it was to sinking its long teeth into my flesh. I didn’t say a word, I just kept walking, pretending I wasn’t almost violently bitten by a trained attack dog.

I notified my property manager immediately upon returning home, after getting my mail, that I couldn’t even check my mail now without this dog attempting to bite me –and coming close to doing so! I notified the leasing agency that if I’m bitten by a gigantic dog attacking me right outside my home, I’m going to seek legal actions against my neighbor. I mentioned that I won’t be paying the legal fees as the suit would include their property, for not providing a safe living space and vetting their residents properly.

I got a prompt response – the property manager wanted to help. I was relieved because sometimes the leasing agency you rent from can be apathetic or unreliable. Not the case here, they wanted to investigate the lease agreement my neighbor had for pets. A month goes by, the dog still stalks me through the windows and glass patio door, still barks with real angry emotion when I unlock my front door. Now, this was more than just a minor irritation; it was disrupting my ability to enjoy being at home.

I check back with the property manager, and his assistant responds that basically they are working on it, without any more info. I write back, professionally, but passionately:

“Today the neighbor’s dog started barking aggressively at me when I walked outside to carry clothes to laundry room. It was barking through their front door, and ran around to their patio doors lunging against the glass at me. This is beyond disturbing, the big dog clearly wants to attack me, it’s very different from the small dogs that other people own here.

Last night it was barking at 12 am midnight, and there have been many days like this.The dog continues to smell me through the door and lunge at their front door, ramming against the door when I leave my townhome.

Does that seem..normal to you? Or something I should have to deal with?

This dog continues to disturb the peaceful environment that so enchanted me with living here when I moved in. My uncle raised rottweilers, when I was younger, I worked at a dog kennel, I know what normal dog behavior is.There is something wrong with this dog, either it was mistreated, and/or it was trained to attack people.”

I even offered to pay their pet deposit if my property manager got the dog out of there. Turns out – my neighbor never let them know he was bringing a dog and didn’t pay the deposit. Another month goes by, the barking doesn’t stop. I’m now getting beyond frustrated. It’s like having your smoke detector go off but you can’t find it to turn it off. I’m not able to sleep as well, and every single morning the dog barks at me through the walls when I’m making my morning coffee – so before I get one sip, there’s a barrage of short bursts of barks that cut through the walls like butter. The dog starts barking later and later at night. My neighbor isn’t doing anything about this except leaving so he can escape the barking too.

So I write an email to the leasing company, letting them know how miserable being at home has become and how much I used to love living here. They write back, surprised I’m still experiencing this issue, because, a month ago, they told my neighbor to either get rid of the dog by the end of the month or find a new place to live. I was shocked. I wasn’t trying to get this guy evicted, I just wanted peace and quiet. Apparently since he never informed the property that he had a dog, didn’t pay the deposit, combined with not doing anything to stop the barking, and it almost biting me added up for them to drop the hammer. This was a month ago.

Nothing changed. Headaches are the norm, walking on tip toes so the dog doesn’t hear me and bark again, is the norm. A couple of weeks ago, I let them know the conditions have worsened, without improvement, and ask for help. The property manager writes back to tell me they’ve now said eviction is the next step since he refuses to listen to the leasing company’s instructions. The dog is clearly really unhappy being cooped up in a small place when it’s huge, young, full of energy and is mad about this, taking it out on anyone else daring to cross its path.

Day before yesterday my neighbor stopped me outside my place and started cursing me out. He’s a skinny white dude with tattoos and shoulder length hair, and had a girl I’d seen holding the dog when it almost bit me, standing to the right. I was blocked in and couldn’t get past him without becoming physical. He blamed me for the eviction notice and said I was a pussy for not talking to him first before going to the leasing agency.

I was calm and reserved, as I’m not mad and didn’t want this to escalate. Since his dog got within inches of physically attacking me, which I would have taken legal action against him for, I felt a neutral 3rd party was best to mediate this situation. I apologize to him for not talking to him first. I explained that I was upset at having my peace and quiet stolen every day, at all times of the night, and didn’t want to come at him angry about this. My neighbor continued to curse me out and wanted to fight in the parking lot.

I won’t lie, I love to fight, I’m a brawler. I’ve sparred with the best of them taking 3 years of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, some boxing, an aikido class, Shaolin Kung Fu, and street fighting. But not with this guy, I felt bad for him. Kicking his ass in the street wasn’t going to stop the damn dog from waking me up in the night barking nonstop or improve this situation.

I said to him, “Look I have no problem fighting you in the parkinglot if that’s what you want. I enjoy fighting and usually win. But what happens then? No matter who wins, we both lose when the cops come and take us both to jail. I’ve outgrown that shit. Just find your dog a better place with a yard rather than get evicted. Everyone wins, your dog is happier, no one else’s peaceful homelife is disturbed, and you’re not kicked out of a sweet townhome.”

His response? He called me bitch and stormed off. I got on my blue bicycle and rode to the gas station to buy something to eat because the grocery store was closed for the holidays. Happy Easter haha.

Awkward

Thursday March 15th, 2018

Awkward

Ever had an intense conversation with someone and their words continue to echo in your ears long afterwards? And it’s like you can’t stop feeling this lack of closure that beats on your mind like some kind of Edgar Allen Poe Raven on the window chirping “Nevermore, Nevermore!”

You start to go over the things that you could have said, should have said, and if you’d kept your cool more, would have said. The imaginary conversation replays in your mind only this time you are poised, calm, questioning of the other person’s motives for kind of attacking you -intentionally or not.

We all go through a situation like this, and whether or not we are in the right, there’s this nagging feeling that this could have been handled better somehow. Writing a letter about this experience, and stating what you would have said if you’d had that inner space can definitely help.

The other day I ran into someone that is part of a mean social clique I had the misfortune of being around last year. She is not an architect of the social engineering or mean spirited bullying that went on, but is friends with those who are. We had a heated discussion on why I deleted her off of Facebook. I felt put on the defensive right away, as if I had to justify anything I did to someone I didn’t know that well.

How often do you run into people you deleted off of Facebook in real life and are asked “Why did you delete me?”

Being honest is always a good policy. I was candid with her straight away, which took more balls than I felt I had at the moment and let her know I had to distance myself from everyone part of the rude social clique she’s a part of.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to get to a boiling point. She started randomly shifting the conversation to my life coaching program and demanding I justify starting a business. While I kind of shift my feet like with my best Katt Williams impersonation:

Exactly where does her opinion of what I do or anyone else’s permission to be an entrepreneur come into this? Ironically she’s got her own business on the side so it was an odd thing to be called out on like it was a bad thing.

Awkward wasn’t even half of what I was feeling right now. It was so out of place and random, to suddenly be discussing my business ventures with a person who I didn’t know that well and who is part of a group of people known to bully folks they judge as not worthy of their “coolness.”

Fast forward, I decided to get some space and shift my working environment, because I have location-flexibility. Walking away my last words to her kept replaying, “Just try being more honest, it may do you some good.” Not exactly the harshest thing I could have said and to be honest, I actually never had anything against her. We always had positive social interactions, even if her regular crowd tends towards toxic.

This is a good moment, where if you’ve had this experience as well, to take a word from the wise: We don’t (at least yet) have a time machine (and if we did – would we mess up the timelines trying to fix things like Continuum?) so it’s good to let things go. If you can’t, get a notebook, and write out all the things you wish you would have said but didn’t. This will help you get the stress, and trauma of the interaction out of your system.

Deep breath, tuck your abs in on the exhale, hold for a count of 10, release. Rinse and repeat. Woosa! It helps. Thanks for reading, and I know your day will get better now. Say it with me:

We Live Forever

Background Music: Press Play For Added Atmosphere Petit Fleur

Today I was writing my upcoming book, The Beauty of Now, & there are moments that strike me with a special poignancy. Keeping a journal, somewhat consistently for the past 19 years of your life yields a unique perspective on your life.

I was at a birthday party for my friend LeeAnn last night and I said to the parents of her husband, my friend John Leavitt, “Leonard Cohen once said you can never teach wisdom to the youth.” John’s father said in reply, “Truer words have never been said.”

Young Trevor, I don’t know how much of the truth he would have listened to. I think it’s a matter of timing. If I felt I had to prove I’d earned my stripes, and felt someone was challenging my intellect, I’d puff my chest out and over compensate for imagined injuries to my ego.

Yet if the timing was more ambiguous or poetic, I’d have considered a much wider spectrum for what the truth was about who I used to be back then. This time portal that I step through when chronologically going through these hand written paper journals, is emotionally significant. Because I feel the echoes of that child inside of me still, thirsting for recognition and still in love with the magic that circles like a halo around every experience your heart is awake enough to feel and experience on a deeper level, once the ego and pride are transcended all there is, is NOW.

I feel like that world, which I detailed so exquisitely on paper pages with bent corners, little drawings, phone numbers, and notes to myself about that era, somehow still lives. One of my favorite mystery authors, Johh D. MacDonald captured this feeling perfectly in the dialogue between 2 of his characters, Melody Chance and Cliff in the Brass Cupcake, narrated by Cliff in the 1st person. Melody, the woman Cliff falls in love with, talks about her youth nostalgically and it rings true:

“When I was 20 I was a gay little bride. Now, Cliff, I’m 27 and I’m not very gay.”

[Cliff says] ‘When I was one and twenty’ I said softly.

[Melody says] ‘Tell me about you at one and twenty, Cliff. Don’t you get the feeling that they’re still back there, in the past, the people we were once upon a time, still laughing and loving and not knowing what will happen?”

Sure feels that way, looking at the words of younger me. I even wrote stuff like “10 years from now…” and I wasn’t too far off the mark with some of my predictions of the future. Well, the future is right now, so what…now?

We continue to strive, wax poetic, and stare at the night sky imaging what it would be like to walk the surface of stars. What it would be like to see the stars from a life lived when money is no object and our sailboat rocks back and forth, waiting in the marina, for another adventure.

Texas Longhorns Vs Ole Miss Rebels 1-27-18

Sunday January 28th, 2018

I have always liked Basketball more than any other sport save martial arts and Bball is by far the best sport to watch. Yesterday was an historic moment, a day I put on my calendar as the first day i went to see a basketball game live in person.

I saw the game at the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas, it was Texas Longhorns V Ole Miss. And true to their name Mississippi missed more shots than they scored.

I first got into basketball when I was in NYC watching the 2008 Summer Olympics. Team USA defeated Spain 118–107 in the gold medal game on August 24, 2008. America won its first gold medal in a worldwide competition since the 2000 Olympics.

This was an historic moment and I remember it well. Jersey City, New Jersey is where I was staying while visiting Manhattan everyday and other parts of New York City. I discovered Broadway, and saw a Tale of 2 Cities. I remember taking the Path Train every day into the Big Apple, and walking with thousands of people even simply through one alleyway, that’s how densely packed the population is.

Couchsurfing is a network where you can sleep on other people’s couches, sometimes bedrooms, for free as part of a cultural exchange across the world. I used this network to travel to many states, and I was staying in an apartment near the center of Jersey City at the time. I’ll never forget that game.

Kobe Bryant was a beast on the court, scoring 20 points, 6 assists, and at more than one point he grabbed the ball and ran so fast to Spain’s basket that Kobe was literally alone scoring 3 pointers like free throws in the middle of the game.

I knew basketball was my sport of choice after that game.

January 27th 2018, the Longhorns played well. It was a memorable moment when I first walked into the Frank Erwin Center to see my first live game:

As I walked towards my seats, I marveled at the whole environment. The vendors selling hotdogs, cotton candy and beer. The people wearing their favorite player’s jersey and a sea of orange Ts representing UT Longhorns. The framed photos on the wall told a story that was still being written about the games the Erwin Center hosted:

Dylan Osetkowski scored many 2 point shots, and lay ups, with a number of free throws from Ole Miss fouls.

Dylan had an in your face energy and a drive to win that we could all feel from the bleachers. Early on he got several free throws in:

AIRBALL!

The band played interesting tunes, almost ragtime at moments:

What happened to real cheerleading? The pepsquad took center stage most of the time and didn’t have any real dance moves aside from standing still and shaking their pom poms back and forth. I was disappointed and felt the Longhorns need to fire their dance choreographer.

In the rare moments we got to see actual cheerleaders, they were true to form.

Watching cheerleaders doing backflips across the court was all part of the magic.

Being there for the moments Mo Bamba got the rebound shots was really nice.

Mo Bamba’s reach is incredible to watch:

Coach Shaka changed strategies to a full court press this allowed Mo Bamba to shine

And if there were any players with star potential it’s no surprise my #1 draft pick goes to Longhorns Center Mo Bamba who scored 25 points and 15 rebounds with an honorable mention to Dylan Osetkowski.

Mo Bamba helped turned the tide mid game with his impressive 7 foot 9 inch wingspan controlling the interior. It seemed like the refs were purposefully trying to foul Bamba to get him out of the game.

And yet, despite it all, the Longhorns brought home a decisive victory

1st live basketball game verdict: success.

I took one last look at the court before exiting, thinking, “This was great.”