Sleeping Dogs Don’t Lie

2 months ago a new neighbor moved in next door to me. At first, I thought he was going to be a good guy. A neighbor I could hear that pressurized pop of opening beer cans with while we shot the breeze and enjoyed our respective domiciles.

How wrong I was.

Little did I know he had a huge doberman pincher who was a trained attack dog. Within a couple of weeks, he brought the dog into his place and it started barking all the time. I endured it because I thought, “Hmm, ok, well it’s a new place. I’m sure his dog just needs a little time to adjust.” Keep in mind there’s no yard, it’s just an indoor townhome. The barking didn’t stop, in fact, it was increasing everyday.

I’m a fairly reasonable guy, so I don’t make an issue of this. But it got to the point where the doberman was smelling me through the walls and barking when I entered my kitchen. Barking when I closed the refrigerator door. Barking when I bumped into my trashcan. Barking when I put a pan on the stove to boil water for coffee. Barking at my mother when she knocked on my door to visit me. Barking at night, 10pm, 11pm, 12am, 1am, 2am, 4am.

I would come home from work, and it would lunge at me charging into my neighbors front door…THUMP…THUMP….THUMP. Remember, I’ve never interacted with this dog, it’s new, I’ve never told it to shut up, or anything. For some reason, perhaps thinking it was protecting it’s territory, the dog targeted me, the next door neighbor with it’s aggression. A big black dog who was above my waist in height.

I’d be walking by my place on my way to do laundry and it would follow me throughout the neighbor’s townhome, running, charging into their glass patio door it could see me through. Barking, growling, slobbering like some demonic Cujo intent on its pound of flesh. I was starting to get a bit concerned. This wasn’t normal behavior.

The breaking point came when I was walking to check my mail, and a friend of my neighbor’s was sitting in a lawnchair outside. She was loosely holding on to a leash this big angry dog was on and not paying attention to it. As I walked past, the huge doberman jumped forward, snapping the leash, with its open jaws slamming shut within inches of my exposed left thigh ( I was wearing shorts). The slobber hit my legs that’s how close it was to sinking its long teeth into my flesh. I didn’t say a word, I just kept walking, pretending I wasn’t almost violently bitten by a trained attack dog.

I notified my property manager immediately upon returning home, after getting my mail, that I couldn’t even check my mail now without this dog attempting to bite me –and coming close to doing so! I notified the leasing agency that if I’m bitten by a gigantic dog attacking me right outside my home, I’m going to seek legal actions against my neighbor. I mentioned that I won’t be paying the legal fees as the suit would include their property, for not providing a safe living space and vetting their residents properly.

I got a prompt response – the property manager wanted to help. I was relieved because sometimes the leasing agency you rent from can be apathetic or unreliable. Not the case here, they wanted to investigate the lease agreement my neighbor had for pets. A month goes by, the dog still stalks me through the windows and glass patio door, still barks with real angry emotion when I unlock my front door. Now, this was more than just a minor irritation; it was disrupting my ability to enjoy being at home.

I check back with the property manager, and his assistant responds that basically they are working on it, without any more info. I write back, professionally, but passionately:

“Today the neighbor’s dog started barking aggressively at me when I walked outside to carry clothes to laundry room. It was barking through their front door, and ran around to their patio doors lunging against the glass at me. This is beyond disturbing, the big dog clearly wants to attack me, it’s very different from the small dogs that other people own here.

Last night it was barking at 12 am midnight, and there have been many days like this.The dog continues to smell me through the door and lunge at their front door, ramming against the door when I leave my townhome.

Does that seem..normal to you? Or something I should have to deal with?

This dog continues to disturb the peaceful environment that so enchanted me with living here when I moved in. My uncle raised rottweilers, when I was younger, I worked at a dog kennel, I know what normal dog behavior is.There is something wrong with this dog, either it was mistreated, and/or it was trained to attack people.”

I even offered to pay their pet deposit if my property manager got the dog out of there. Turns out – my neighbor never let them know he was bringing a dog and didn’t pay the deposit. Another month goes by, the barking doesn’t stop. I’m now getting beyond frustrated. It’s like having your smoke detector go off but you can’t find it to turn it off. I’m not able to sleep as well, and every single morning the dog barks at me through the walls when I’m making my morning coffee – so before I get one sip, there’s a barrage of short bursts of barks that cut through the walls like butter. The dog starts barking later and later at night. My neighbor isn’t doing anything about this except leaving so he can escape the barking too.

So I write an email to the leasing company, letting them know how miserable being at home has become and how much I used to love living here. They write back, surprised I’m still experiencing this issue, because, a month ago, they told my neighbor to either get rid of the dog by the end of the month or find a new place to live. I was shocked. I wasn’t trying to get this guy evicted, I just wanted peace and quiet. Apparently since he never informed the property that he had a dog, didn’t pay the deposit, combined with not doing anything to stop the barking, and it almost biting me added up for them to drop the hammer. This was a month ago.

Nothing changed. Headaches are the norm, walking on tip toes so the dog doesn’t hear me and bark again, is the norm. A couple of weeks ago, I let them know the conditions have worsened, without improvement, and ask for help. The property manager writes back to tell me they’ve now said eviction is the next step since he refuses to listen to the leasing company’s instructions. The dog is clearly really unhappy being cooped up in a small place when it’s huge, young, full of energy and is mad about this, taking it out on anyone else daring to cross its path.

Day before yesterday my neighbor stopped me outside my place and started cursing me out. He’s a skinny white dude with tattoos and shoulder length hair, and had a girl I’d seen holding the dog when it almost bit me, standing to the right. I was blocked in and couldn’t get past him without becoming physical. He blamed me for the eviction notice and said I was a pussy for not talking to him first before going to the leasing agency.

I was calm and reserved, as I’m not mad and didn’t want this to escalate. Since his dog got within inches of physically attacking me, which I would have taken legal action against him for, I felt a neutral 3rd party was best to mediate this situation. I apologize to him for not talking to him first. I explained that I was upset at having my peace and quiet stolen every day, at all times of the night, and didn’t want to come at him angry about this. My neighbor continued to curse me out and wanted to fight in the parking lot.

I won’t lie, I love to fight, I’m a brawler. I’ve sparred with the best of them taking 3 years of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, some boxing, an aikido class, Shaolin Kung Fu, and street fighting. But not with this guy, I felt bad for him. Kicking his ass in the street wasn’t going to stop the damn dog from waking me up in the night barking nonstop or improve this situation.

I said to him, “Look I have no problem fighting you in the parkinglot if that’s what you want. I enjoy fighting and usually win. But what happens then? No matter who wins, we both lose when the cops come and take us both to jail. I’ve outgrown that shit. Just find your dog a better place with a yard rather than get evicted. Everyone wins, your dog is happier, no one else’s peaceful homelife is disturbed, and you’re not kicked out of a sweet townhome.”

His response? He called me bitch and stormed off. I got on my blue bicycle and rode to the gas station to buy something to eat because the grocery store was closed for the holidays. Happy Easter haha.

Sleeping Dawgs Don’t Lie

Sleeping Dogs Don’t Lie

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