Thursday March 15th, 2018

Awkward

Ever had an intense conversation with someone and their words continue to echo in your ears long afterwards? And it’s like you can’t stop feeling this lack of closure that beats on your mind like some kind of Edgar Allen Poe Raven on the window chirping “Nevermore, Nevermore!”

You start to go over the things that you could have said, should have said, and if you’d kept your cool more, would have said. The imaginary conversation replays in your mind only this time you are poised, calm, questioning of the other person’s motives for kind of attacking you -intentionally or not.

We all go through a situation like this, and whether or not we are in the right, there’s this nagging feeling that this could have been handled better somehow. Writing a letter about this experience, and stating what you would have said if you’d had that inner space can definitely help.

The other day I ran into someone that is part of a mean social clique I had the misfortune of being around last year. She is not an architect of the social engineering or mean spirited bullying that went on, but is friends with those who are. We had a heated discussion on why I deleted her off of Facebook. I felt put on the defensive right away, as if I had to justify anything I did to someone I didn’t know that well.

How often do you run into people you deleted off of Facebook in real life and are asked “Why did you delete me?” 

Being honest is always a good policy. I was candid with her straight away, which took more balls than I felt I had at the moment and let her know I had to distance myself from everyone part of the rude social clique she’s a part of.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to get to a boiling point. She started randomly shifting the conversation to my life coaching program and demanding I justify starting a business. While I kind of shift my feet like with my best Katt Williams impersonation:

Exactly where does her opinion of what I do or anyone else’s permission to be an entrepreneur come into this? Ironically she’s got her own business on the side so it was an odd thing to be called out on like it was a bad thing. 

Awkward wasn’t even half of what I was feeling right now. It was so out of place and random, to suddenly be discussing my business ventures with a person who I didn’t know that well and who is part of a group of people known to bully folks they judge as not worthy of their “coolness.” 

Fast forward, I decided to get some space and shift my working environment, because I have location-flexibility. Walking away my last words to her kept replaying, “Just try being more honest, it may do you some good.” Not exactly the harshest thing I could have said and to be honest, I actually never had anything against her. We always had positive social interactions, even if her regular crowd tends towards toxic. 

This is a good moment, where if you’ve had this experience as well, to take a word from the wise: We don’t (at least yet) have a time machine (and if we did – would we mess up the timelines trying to fix things like Continuum?) so it’s good to let things go. If you can’t, get a notebook, and write out all the things you wish you would have said but didn’t. This will help you get the stress, and trauma of the interaction out of your system.

Deep breath, tuck your abs in on the exhale, hold for a count of 10, release. Rinse and repeat. Woosa! It helps. Thanks for reading, and I know your day will get better now. Say it with me: